Purposeful WORDS: Powerful Tools to Build a Happy and Healthy Marriage
Pro 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
There are 2 mandates Paul gives that give a good mission for the wife and the husband – the wife is to respect her husband and the husband to love his wife (Eph 5:22,25). Marriages disintegrate when the married spouses let their words deviate or drift from this purpose. Perhaps we fail to recognize the power of our words to either build up or destroy. We do not realize how destructive disrespectful and unloving words are to husbands and wives. Put a guard at your lips and check to see how your words are aimed, usually ignorantly, at your spouse’s honor or sense of being loved.
Marriages can be hurtful places because they are places of heightened vulnerability and expectation. In no other relationship on the planet is a person more open to another person. In no other relationship are expectations so high. We enter into marriage and expose who we are to another person. We bare ourselves, body, soul and spirit, to another person. This puts a lot of power in the hands and mouth of that person.
Because marriage as an institution has a good reputation as a source of companionship and love, spouses go into it expecting just that! That is why they get married! . Marriage is expected to meet the deep need and desire for honor and respect . So the stage is set and the drama begins…but openness makes us vulnerable to criticism, pain and rejection while our hope for love and relationship makes us vulnerable to disappointment and a sick heart. Will this love story have a happily-ever-after ending? A woman expects to be loved and a man expects to be honored. They expect it because it is what they need …and it is what most believe marriage will give them.
If you want to build your marriage then start with your respective mandates and apply it to your words. Words are powerful, don’t cost anything and are easy to give. Wives honor your husband. Honorable words from wives must not include criticism and attack. Instead here are some honorable words that will edify most husbands:
- Your job is so important. Thank you for going every day.
- I appreciate that you help me know how things work.
- You are the head of the house, what can I do to help you?
- What is your opinion?
- Can I get you a coffee or drink?
- Thank you for taking care of the cars. What would I do without you?
- I appreciate your sexual desire for me.
- I am sorry. it is my fault. Please forgive me.
Husbands love your wife. Loving words must not include anger and harshness. Here are some loving words that will edify most wives:
- “I love you” said as often and in as many ways as possible.
- You’re the #1 person in my life.
- I am so thankful God gave us to each other.
- I pray for you.
- I love your body, soul and spirit.
- My org chart has Jesus at the top then you right beside me.
- Wanna go for a walk?
- I am sorry. it is my fault. Please forgive me.
When there are marriage problems there are always destructive words present. Make an effort to say the words on these lists often–or find your own special words– and with God’s heart you can heal and strengthen your marriage. God bless your marriages.
Brian D. Lange